Now Introducing… My Pointless (and Weird) Holiday Awards

Ho ho ho! It’s the holiday season, Grizzlies faithful! What does that mean? Well, for one, I hope you all can enjoy any and all time you get with your friends and loved ones. That’s what it’s about, right?

I hope you all get to laugh with your significant other. Laughter is important, and we don’t do it nearly enough. I hope you get to love your family with all your heart. They won’t always be here, and you’ll wish you loved them more when they’re gone. Trust me.

I hope you get fat this holiday. Eat until your heart is content, y’all. Eat, Santa, eat. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for that. It’s what the holidays are for… To be full and to be happy.

I hope you get to cram all your favorite holiday movies into the day. The Muppet Christmas Carol. Elf. It’s A Wonderful Life. Love Actually. A Christmas Story. Die Hard. Jingle All the Way. Home Alone. All the claymation jams. Watch them all. What’s that? Not enough hours in the day? Sounds like an excuse, if you ask me.

And lastly, I hope you enjoy another round of my pointless… And weird awards. Happy holidays, friends. My love to you and yours. Be well and be merry. And be weird sometimes.

Most Likely To Get You Exactly What You Asked For This Year…

• Ja Morant

Not sure about you guys… But a Ja Morant returning to action—and doing so at this level—was right at the top of my Christmas List. Or damn near it at least.

Now, I’m not here to say that I saw him leading the Grizzlies on a three-game win streak. But it’s painstaking how much better he makes this entire team. That may be the overstatement of the year, but I’m here to say it. I’m like Captain Obvious but not a military man.

Alderman Obvious. Boom. That’s it.

I mean, in three games back, he seems to have picked up at the exact spot he left off. If he continues this level of play—his normal level of superstardom—Morant goes a long way… A long way at righting Memphis’ ship.

Most Likely To Celebrate Boxing Day…

• Brandon Clarke

Where are all my Boxing Day folks? Show of hands! We know about Boxing Day, right? The holiday originated in England and is celebrated in several commonwealths. A la Canada?

To be honest, you’re forgiven if you’re coming up empty. I reckon it still remains more than a little obscure in the States. The basis of the holiday stems from the giving of gifts specific to those folks “in need.”

It’s a pretty incredible holiday, if we’re honest, right? And I can think of one guy on the Grizzlies I’d be willing to bet might celebrate the day after Christmas. I’m speaking, of course, of Memphis’ Canadian stalwart: Brandon Clarke.

As it stands, BC seems to be ahead of schedule when it comes to his rehab. This was a recent post from Clarke’s own Instagram…

It gives you more than a tad bit of hope now, doesn’t it? And wouldn’t it be the most Boxing Day gift you could think of? Getting Brandon back before the All-Star Break… For a team in need like the Grizzlies? Happy Boxing Day, indeed.

Most Likely To Pull A Cousin Eddie…

• Vince Williams Jr.

I mean this as the most sincerest of compliments. I’m of the opinion that National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation is a top five Christmas film… And that Cousin Eddie is a top ten—or so—supporting character in a film.

Randy Quaid is lights out in this performance… Now how much of that is real life and how much was acting… That’s not what we’re here to delegate.

The character shows up in the film and not only is he a highlight… He damn near steals the show. Sounds like Eddie has a significant amount in common with Vince, yeah?

The task Memphis has consistently handed him is guarding the best dude on opposing teams. Night in. And night out. And he has risen to the task and then some. All while playing like he’s got a screw or two loose, which I love so much.

I’m a big Vince fan. Have been since we drafted him. He’s what we needed Dillon Brooks to be for us. If his Two-Way isn’t converted at the end of the season, I’m going to be quite peeved. And if Cousin Eddie wasn’t in Christmas Vacation? Let’s say I’d be even more so.

Most Likely To Be Disowned By The Family Before New Years…

• Jake LaRavia

Disowned may be a harsh word… How about no longer being on the team? Is that mean? I guess. But here’s the thing…

If you were to ask me? I’d say Jake LaRavia has yet to earn any minutes. You know what? I’m ready to say he’s yet to earn a damn roster spot.

It seems like he’s outplayed on each possession. The other members of his draft class—at least the ones left—are outplaying him. And I’m tired of having to watch him play Grizzlies basketball.

So I guess, actually, disowned isn’t a harsh enough word…

Most Likely To Crash The Party (In A Good Way)…

• Tie: Marcus Smart, Luke Kennard

I’m sure that we all have the relative I’m referring to. You know the one? The one who’s a load of fun, a little crazy, and who you’re not sure is actually going to show… But who actually does show up and then the entire family is better and grateful for it?

The Grizzlies have two options for this award. So I’m giving it to both of ’em. Because they’re my awards, and they’re supposed to be weird and pointless, dammit.

Marcus Smart and Luke Kennard are both due back from early-season injuries. Smart, in particular, seems on the verge of returning. If one—or both—were to return to the rotation by… Let’s say New Year’s…

It would go quite a way towards helping this team go on the run that they’re going to need. If Memphis hopes actually to make a run at this thing, they’ll need both back. And the sooner, the better. A surprise Christmas appearance? Now that would be a Christmas miracle, dadgum.

Most Likely To Have Die Hard As Their Favorite Christmas Movie…

• Desmond Bane

Another award that may seem like a jab. Please let me assure you, it is not. Because first thing’s first—time to get it out of the way—Die Hard is definitely a Christmas movie. I actually have it in my personal top five favorite Christmas films.

Die Hard is top-tier filmmaking and has an absolute all-timer of a villain with Hans Gruber. RIP Alan Rickman. It’s thrilling to watch and is an all-around cool movie.

Which is pretty close to how I’d describe watching Desmond Bane hoop. Thrilling to watch and all-around cool. And several folks’ personal favorite Grizzlies player, I’d wager.

You know what… How about we all agree to start calling Bane Die Hard and call it a day?